It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
