Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
