$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize