i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
