are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
