Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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