The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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