every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
