i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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