Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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