so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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