i would punch a child for taco bell
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
