glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
