i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
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Happy birthday, you long dick monster
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was