He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.