and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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