Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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