um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
