Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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