I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
