Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
