4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My cat gives me a boner
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
