a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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