walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
