I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize