your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
