I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
