I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
