If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
