what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize