Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
