Have you finally orgasmed yet?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
