Christians are straight up FREAKS
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
