She is in my trunk
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize