She said her name was "party"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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