this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
