Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize