She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
