i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
