did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
