he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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