it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She bit a glass in half.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
