Dual....:-)
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Randomize
