Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
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Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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