trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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