yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
