Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
