More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
