get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
