i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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