I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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