Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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