After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
