well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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