Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize