Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
