We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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